The Wonderful Wizard of Id
by Agent J
Summary: R/R. The cast has to act the wizard of oz. Rated for violence, insanity, and monkeys.*New Chapter*
1. Default Chapter

The Wonderful Wizard of Id  
  
Disclaimer:I do not own Xenogears...Yadda Yadda Yadda...don't sue.  
  
This will probably be more like a behind the scenes fic.  
  
...................................................................  
  
The Roll Call  
  
Director:Okay everyone I have the cast lineup ready.  
  
Everyone:Aaaawww maannn!  
  
Director:You'll act in this show and like it. So shut up.  
  
Dorothy-Elly  
  
Toto-ChuChu  
  
The Wicked Witch-Miang  
  
Miang:HEY! Why am I the witch.  
  
Director:Cause we need a freaky girl with wierd powers.  
  
Miang:There are PLENTY of other girls that could be that.  
  
Director:It's also because the others bribed me to pick you.  
  
Miang:Damn.  
  
Director:NEXT!  
  
Glinda-Seraphita  
  
Miang:Now just a damn minute. Why is she the good one.  
  
Director:She's cute,pink, and works for cheap.  
  
Miang:Double Damn!  
  
Munchkins-Esmarelda  
  
Esmarelda:Uhh excuse me, how can I act out an entire munchkin village?  
  
Director:Just split yourself then turn into different forms. Next.  
  
Scarecrow-Citan  
  
Tin Man-Billy  
  
Cowardly Lion-Bart  
  
Bart:Woah hey there, i'm supposed to be a wimp.  
  
Director:No that's not it at all.  
  
Bart:Oh.  
  
Director:You also have to cry.  
  
Bart:Crap!  
  
The Wizard:Fei/Id  
  
Director:So does anybody have any questions?  
  
Everyone:YES!  
  
Director:Well TOUGH. All questions must be directed to the stage manager.  
  
Fei:So who's the stage manager?  
  
Maria:I AM!  
  
Bart:Maria?  
  
Maria:Yes you maggots, if you got questions, I dare you to ask them. So once again  
does anybody body have any QUESTIONS.  
  
Everyone:Uhhhhh no.  
  
Maria:I thought so.  
  
Director:I love this job.  
  
Bart:We'll see about that.  
  
Director:Everybody get into their costumes and get onto the set.  
  
Esmarelda:I still don't see how I can become a WHOLE village.  
  
Maria:Get going green bean.  
  
Esmarelda:Someone needs to take their Ritalin.  
  
Maria:I HEARD THAT!  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Now that we have a cast were ready to start production. But is the cast as eager as  
the director. C'mon you know the answer. So tune in next time to see how much they  
don't want to do this. Oh and don't worry, you'll see plenty of the other cast members. 


	2. The World in Black and White

Chapter 2  
  
Author:Do I really need to say this again?  
  
Maria:Do you really want to oppose the almighty Square's fury?  
  
Author:*shudders* no?  
  
Maria:Good NOW SAY IT!  
  
Author:I do not own Xenogears, Square does. I do not own the wizard of Oz, MGM does.  
  
Maria:Good boy.  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Just in case anybody is confused i'll explain. The xenogears crew is doing a rendition  
of the wizard of oz.  
  
Bart:DUH!  
  
SHUT UP BART! *ahem* anyway you may notice later on that this isn't going to be perfect  
scriptplay. Names will be changed to protect the innocent. Things will be different or   
downright altered to suit the fics needs.  
  
Bart:What about our needs.  
  
I said SHUT UP! Don't make me come back there. But I think that's part of the fun of   
fanfiction. I hope this will solve any problems of confusion that this fic is bound  
to bring.  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The World in Black and White  
  
Director:Okay crew, everybody on the set.  
  
*The cast comes in their first costumes*  
  
Fei:Are you sure i'm supposed to dress like this. I look like an old man.  
  
Director:No you don't. You need the mustache too, MAKEUP!  
  
Elly:I've got a complaint.  
  
*Elly appears in the dorothy dress, except it looks like someone cut a few inches off. Okay  
a LOT of inches off.*  
  
All Male Cast:We don't.^_^  
  
Director:C'mon elly, we're just adjusting the costumes to the persons character.  
  
Elly:This doesn't seem to express dorothy's charecter.  
  
Director:It's supposed to express you.  
  
Fei:Don't worry elly, you've done worse. In fact you've done nothing.  
  
Elly:But it's not like anybody saw anything then.  
  
Maria:QUIET ON THE SET!  
  
Director:Okay everybody Scene 1 annnnnnd...ACTION.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Scene one-Take one.  
  
*Screen is black and white elly is running down the road.*  
  
Elly:Woah what is this?  
  
Director:CUT! What's wrong.  
  
Elly:The screen is black and white.  
  
Director:Cause it's SUPPOSED TO BE.  
  
Elly:Are you sure?  
  
Director:YES!  
  
Elly:Oh...okay, sorry then, continue.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Director:Take two.  
  
Scene one-Take two.  
  
*Elly is running down the road*  
  
Elly:Are you okay Chu-Chu, did she hurt you. She tried to didn't she.  
Let's go tell uuummmm....let's go tell uuuhhh.  
  
Director:CUT! Elly, what's the holdup for.  
  
Elly:Who am I supposed to go tell.  
  
Director:OH! hhhmmmm. I guess I never assigned that parts. Stage Manager!  
  
Maria:Yes Sir!  
  
Director:Go get Ghraf and Dominia.  
  
*seconds later*  
  
Maria:I have brought them here sir.  
  
Grahf:Can't you let me stay dead.  
  
Dominia:What's the big deal. I was tanning with Khar.  
  
Director:*whispers plan*  
  
Grahf+Dominia:YOU WANT US TO BE FARMERS!  
  
Director:That's the plan.  
  
Grahf:Worse than that you want us to act as a couple.  
  
Dominia:What will all the guys think of me if I have to act with Lord Schitzo here.  
  
Grahf:Hey! Fei is way more of a schitzo than me.  
  
Fei:JERK!  
  
Id:BITE ME!  
  
Director:No excuses people, now get ready. Okay everyone...ACTION!  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Scene 1-Take 2  
  
Elly:Let's go tell uncle Ghrafy and auntie Dom.  
  
*backstage*Fei:Whoever wrote those names has poor originality skills.  
  
Maria:I do, do I?  
  
Fei:Bloody Murder*runs away*  
  
Maria:Come back and fight wimpy.  
  
*Elly runs to the farm where her uncle is counting chicks. No not girls.*  
  
Elly:Uncle Graphy, Uncle Graphy.  
  
Graph:Not now *sigh* dear.  
  
Elly:Something terrible just happend.  
  
Graph:Like I give a sh...  
  
Director:CUUUUUUUUT!  
  
Graph:WHAT? The script says he doesn't.  
  
Director:*Slaps his forehead.  
  
Dominia:How am I supposed to flaunt myself, WHEN I LOOK LIKE AN OLD LADY!  
  
Billy:Like there was anything to flaunt.  
  
Dominia:o\/o.GGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!  
  
Billy:mommy...aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!  
  
Maria:Where are you wimpy!  
  
Director:There's gonna be a lot of corpses today.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Things are looking great. The next terror that will be faced is.....ELLYS SINGING!  
As always....please please please please please....I BEG YOU. Review. I need some  
input. How else will I get better. Bye bye.^_^ 


	3. This Ain't No Opera House

Chapter 3  
  
Author:For those of you who are still reading this, THANK YOU! ^_^ Your support makes me   
happy. Since i've said it two times already I don't think another disclaimer is   
necessary.  
  
Maria:Oh is it?  
  
Author:eep.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
This Ain't No Opera House.  
  
Director:Alright then, let's get ready for the next scene.  
  
Bart:Boooo!  
  
Maria:WHO SAID THAT!  
  
Bart:Grahf did.  
  
Maria:Die infidel.  
  
Grahf:You'll pay for this you bitch.*runs*  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Scene 2-Take 1  
  
Direction:Action.  
  
*We get to the part where elly talks to Billy, Bart, and Citan.*  
  
Elly:It's not fair. Now miss miang is going to call the sherrif on chuchu.  
  
Citan:You should try using your brain dummy. Then you won't get in trouble.  
  
Elly:Hey!  
  
Billy:Yeah you shouldn't be so ditzy.  
  
Elly:What the?  
  
Bart:Have some courage once and awhile you wimp.  
  
Elly:Wait a sec.  
  
Bart:Shoot this is taking too long.*picks up elly*  
  
Elly:Let go you pervert.  
  
Bart:*Throws elly into the pig pen*  
  
Elly:CUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!  
  
Director:I'm the only one who says that.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Elly:You people are the biggest jerks EVER!  
  
Bart:We want to get to the entertaining parts.  
  
Billy:So we decided to pick up the pace.  
  
Elly:Now I have to get cleaned off.*leaves*  
  
Citan:Are you happy now?  
  
Director:It's not my fault the budget was cut.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Scene 3-Take 1 (1 hour later)  
  
Director:Action.  
  
Dominia:*God I hate this* Look elly we're busy enough as it is, now go someplace where you   
won't get into any trouble.*walks off*  
  
Elly:Someplace where there isn't any trouble. Do you think there is such a place chu-chu.  
  
Chu-Chu:'_'  
  
Elly:Of course there is. It's not a place you can get by a boat, or a train, it's some place   
far far away.  
  
*backstage*  
  
Bart:Now she's going to sing.  
  
Fei:WHAT? For the love of god you've got to stop her.  
  
Director:Why?  
  
Fei:She hits high notes, like fingernails on a chalkboard. I should know, I had a hand in  
causing those high pitches.^_^  
  
Bart:Eeewww. To much information fei.  
  
Billy:How can you stand it if you're at ground zero when she hits a pitch.  
  
Fei:Simple, earplugs.  
  
Citan:Too late.  
  
Fei:NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Elly:SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW.  
WAY UP HIGHHHHHHHHHH.  
There's A Land That I Heard Of Once In A Lullaby.  
SomeWHERE Over The RAINBOW...Skies Are Blue   
And THE Dreams That You Dare To Dream Really Do Come True.   
  
  
Bart:ARGH! I think i'm going deaf!  
  
Billy:Lord Help Us All.   
  
Esmerelda:I'm coming apart.*melts*  
  
Fei:Praise the man who invented earplugs.  
  
Elly:Someday I'll Wish Upon A Star And Wake Up Where The Clouds Are Far Behind Me.  
Where Troubles Melt Like Lemon Drops Away Above The Chimney Tops...   
That's Where You'll FIND ME.   
SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW... BLUE BIRDS Fly  
Birds Fly Over The Rainbow--Why Then Oh Why Can't I?  
If Happy Little Blue Birds Fly Beyond The Rainbow...  
Why OooooHHHHH WHYYYYY Can't IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII?  
  
Grahf:Good she's done.  
  
Director:CUT! That was uuuhhh good elly. *to maria* Get a good dub artist okay.  
  
Maria:Yes Sir!  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Elly:So fei, how was I?  
  
Fei:*What should I say*  
  
Fei/Id:*Say she was like a dying rat*  
  
Fei:*No way, think of what she would do.*  
  
Id:*I could guess. Let's give it a try.*(Takes control)  
  
Id:*as fei*What that was you? I thought a cat was getting dragged through the dirt.  
  
Elly:What? You can forget about our special night then.*leaves*  
  
Fei:*You &^$&#&! Now i've just lost my sex nights.*  
  
Id:*Anything to make you suffer.HAHAHAHAHAHA!*  
  
Bart:Hey fei, what's up.  
  
Fei:U_U Nothing bart. Nothing for a long time.*slumps off*  
  
Chu-Chu:What's bugging fei?  
  
Citan:My diagnosis. Abrupt removal of sex.  
  
Bart:Oooohhh harsh.  
  
Director:Everybody get ready for the next scene. Miang you're next.  
  
Miang:Triple Damn!  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Tune in next time where miang will start her most evil role yet, and fei will have to put on that  
stupid moustache. I must go on, even if reviews are low. But if you want to R/R please do it.   
Even the bad fics get more than me. No Offense.-_-'  
  
Miang:So! Who says this is a good one.  
  
No respect at all.U_U; 


	4. The Fight We Saw Coming

Chapter 4  
  
Maria:Look author, your starting to piss people off.  
  
Author:Look i'm sorry, I want to use my words for good, not evil.  
  
Maria:The gurus of fanfiction will not stand for this.  
  
Author:What gurus?  
  
Maria:YOU MUST BE PUNISHED!  
  
Author:Time to make my escape.*dissapears*  
  
Maria:Thank you for reading folks. In no way do any offensive words aimed at you, our  
glorious and gracious readers, mean anything, and for that he's sorry.  
START THE CHAPTER!  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The Fight We Saw Coming  
  
Director:Okay, miang this is your big entrance scene on the bike.  
  
Miang:But i've never ridden a bike before.  
  
Dominia:I'm sure it's the same, when you were riding ramsus you slut.  
  
Miang:You're never going to shut up about that are you?  
  
Dominia:Never you homewrecking bitch.  
  
Director:As much as I would love this, we need to get the scene started.  
  
Miang:This dress makes me look old.  
  
Director:Miang, you are old, it's the body you took that looks young.  
  
Miang:Don't remind me.  
  
Director:Get ready, cue music, and....ACTION!  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Scene 4-Take 1  
  
Miang:(Okay keep steady, this shouldn't have to be so hard.)  
  
Bart:BEHIND YOU!  
  
Miang:Where?*falters* whaa...whooo...WHHOOOAAA!*crash*   
  
Bart:Ha hA.  
  
Director:CUUUUUUUT!   
  
Fei:Bart, that was just cruel.  
  
Bart:^-^ I know. I couldn't help myself.  
  
Miang:V_V+ Then allow ME to help you, you PANSEY. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!  
  
Bart:She digs me.ooh ouch, aahh it HURTS! MERCY, UNCLE, I GIIIIVE.  
  
Director:Just another day at the office.  
  
Take 2  
  
Director:Action.  
  
Miang:*wobble* (I'm doing it, i'm doing it. Kudos to me.)  
  
Director:Look out for the...  
  
*CRASH*  
  
Director:sign.-_-  
  
Miang:Note to self....keep eyes....on the road.ugh.  
  
Take 3  
  
Miang:*glides down the road perfectly*  
  
Citan:It's amazing, she's improved greatly.  
  
Fei:Not really. I just put on some training wheels while she wasn't looking.  
  
*miang heads to the house*  
  
Grahf:Well hello there Ms. Miang. What do we owe the pleasure.  
  
Miang:I have most pressing business with your wife.(The bitch queen)  
  
Dominia:I HEARD THAT! YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME!  
  
Miang:BRING IT!  
  
Director:cut. Get the editors office.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Scene 5-Take 1  
  
Miang:That.....uhh.....thing is a menace to society. I'm taking it to the sherrif to make  
sure it's destroyed.  
  
Elly:Destroyed? Chu-Chu? ohh you can't, you just can't. It's my fault I let her go in her  
garden. You can send me to bed without dinner.  
  
Miang:If you don't give it to me now I can get the sherrif to come here. There's a law  
against......puffballs that bite. I have the order right here.  
  
*Ghraf looks at the note*  
  
Grahf:(Meet me in my dressing room later -_^. I knew it, she totally wants me.)  
  
Dominia:I'm sorry elly i'm afraid chu-chu will have to go.  
  
Miang:I'm glad you listen to reason.  
  
Elly:Now you get away from her right now or i'll bite you myself, oh you wicked old bitch  
uh I mean witch. v_v'  
  
Dominia:You go girl.  
  
Miang:Hey who's the bitch here airhead.  
  
Elly:It was a mistake.  
  
Miang:The day you were concieved was the mistake.  
  
Elly:YOU BIIIIIITCH.*Bitchslap*  
  
Miang:DIIIIIIIE.  
  
Director:cut cut cut cut cut.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Billy:So how long have they been fighting.  
  
Citan:3 hours.  
  
Bart:Wish I had my camera.  
  
Billy:Should we try to stop this.  
  
Bart:Should we buy you a gravestone.  
  
Fei:Elly has freakishly amazing endurance, so it may last a while longer.  
  
Bart:Again we didn't need to HEAR that.  
  
Fei:Oh sorry heh heh.  
  
Id:(You're sorry. I have to listen to it all night.)  
  
Fei:Shut up in there.  
  
Id:(Thhhhbbbbttttt.)  
  
Billy:Man you need help. Mental AND physical.  
  
Citan:As a doctor I agree.  
  
Director:I called the hospital, are they still fighting.  
  
Bart:Yep.  
  
Director:I need a new job.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
You like, You no like. You want to tell me how it is. I thank you! Now i'm happy.^_^  
  
Maria:HEY I'M STILL NOT DONE WITH YOU!  
  
Time to leave! 


	5. Love Fortune

Chapter 5  
  
Maria:Hey author you're still pissin' people off.  
  
How could I, this is one of my best ever. Nothing could possibly go wrong.  
  
Maria:You've been careless with the question marks.  
  
Oh uhh heh heh, that wasn't.....me. It was my evil subconcious. I had no part in it.  
  
Maria:Riiiiiight...PREPARE THE TORTURE CHAMBER!  
  
Sorry everyone for my errors. I'm silly that way. That sounded so wrong.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Love Fortune  
  
Scene 6-Take 1  
  
Director:Get ready to jump chu-chu.  
  
Chu-Chu:But I hate hights.  
  
Director:It's a lousy bicycle basket. Take it like a girl a jump. Action.  
  
*Miang is riding her bike down the road. Training wheels and all.*  
  
Chu-Chu:*Okay ready 1...2....3....jump.*  
  
*Chu-Chu hits a training wheel while falling.*  
  
Chu-Chu:Ouchie.  
  
Miang:Woooaaaahhh. What the HEEEEEEELLLLLL?!*CRASH!*  
  
Director:Cut! Get the jaws of life!  
  
Take 2  
  
Director:Action!  
  
Chu-Chu:*Jumps out* (I made it! I'm running, i'm running, i'm running.)  
  
Director:Cut. That was great. Chu-Chu you can come back now.  
  
*Chu-Chu keeps running.*  
  
Director:Someone go get chu-chu.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Scene 7-Take 1  
  
Director:Alrighty, now you have to jump through the open window.  
  
Chu-Chu:I can't jump high.  
  
Director:Fine then, MARIA!  
  
Maria:Yes sir?  
  
Director:I need someone to get chew toy here through the window.  
  
Maria:Yessir, RIIIIIIIIIIIIIICOLA!  
  
Rico:That joke's getting old maria.  
  
Maria:No it isn't. Now get over there and get chu-chu through the window.  
  
Rico:Grrr.  
  
Director:Action.  
  
*We see that elly is on her bed crying.*  
  
Rico:HEADS UP!*Throws Chu-Chu.*  
  
*CRASH! Yet again.*  
  
Elly:Oh chu-chu your back, a little bloody, but you're BACK. Oh they'll be coming   
back for you. We gotta get away. We have to run away.  
  
Director:Cut, print. Chu-Chu are you okay?  
  
Chu-Chu:@_@ Is that chu god? Soon i'll be with you. THE POWER OF GOD COMPELLS ME!  
  
Elly:I dunno, looks like she's zonked.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Director:Fei get ready for your scene.  
  
Fei:No peace for fei. I hate my life.  
  
Billy:Looks like fei getting a little testy.  
  
Bart:How would you feel if you just had your sexlife ripped to pieces.  
  
Billy:I wish I HAD a sexlife.  
  
Citan:Perhaps we should help fei in this predicament.  
  
Bart:I dunno, i'm having fun just watching.  
  
Billy:We must help, it's the honest thing to do.  
  
Bart:Fine, let's get billy here a sexlife afterwards too.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Scene 8-Take 1  
  
Director:Fei, Elly are you ready?  
  
Elly:I don't think I can work with that scum.  
  
Fei:*grumble*  
  
Director:Don't worry, it's not like you'll see his face.*puts moustache and turban on fei* See?  
  
Elly:I guess that's workable. Just don't expect too much from me.  
  
Bart:Ooh this is gonna be tough.  
  
Citan:Don't worry I already have a plan.  
  
Director:ACTION!  
  
*Elly is walking down the country road, where she spots a circus cart where fei is cooking.*   
  
Fei:Oh hello there young one. What brings you out here.  
  
Elly:I'm running away, my family doesn't care about me. Hey what's all this?*Looks at wagon*  
  
Fei:Oh these? These signs just mark the places i've been to, Nisan, Shevat, Solaris.  
  
Elly:Oh sir, please take us to see the crown heads of nisan.  
  
Fei:Oh uhh yeah the...thing. Well before that i'll need to do a session with you.  
(Oh I wish we could do OUR sessions again.)  
  
*Fei leads elly into the cart.*  
  
Citan:Excellent, bart, get the machine ready.  
  
Fei:Alright then please sit down.  
  
Citan:*Backstage* Alright Now.  
Fei:Just eh, close your eyes.  
  
*Bart switches on a machine that sends frequencies on a specific level.*  
  
Citan:If i'm right, only those with specific brainwaves like elly will be able to hear it.  
  
*As the scene plays out, elly hears the message.*  
  
  
OH ELLY I'M SORRY FOR MY AWFUL BEHAVIOR EARLIER.  
I'M SO SO SO SO SO SORRY. I ONLY WISH FOR THINGS   
TO BE LIKE THEY WERE BEFORE. YOU AND ME DOING  
EACH OTHER LIKE MANIACS. I LOVE YOU.  
  
***Warning, Random acts of public love ahead.***  
  
Elly:Oh Fei! ^.^  
  
Fei:What? Wahh--*Elly tackles fei*  
  
Director:Cut, uhh what's going on?  
  
Bart:We're repairing a broken lovelife.  
  
Director:Couldn't you have done it later.  
  
Bart:Not a chance heh heh.^_^  
  
Elly:Oooohhhhh yeeaahh.  
  
Fei:*HUFF GASP GASP* OH oh oh oh Oh oH YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!  
  
All:O_O.  
  
Bart:Woah, and he's just getting started.  
  
Billy:So THAT'S how they do it.   
  
Citan:I think our plan worked too well.  
  
Maria:Alright everyone whats with the---OH MY GOD! I'm blind.  
  
Bart:It's almost----hypnotic.  
  
Billy:I want to look away, yet I can't seem to move my head.  
  
Citan:I have a wife thank you.*leaves*  
  
Maria:The studio isn't insured for this.   
  
Esmerelda:Why is daddy trying to crawl over her?  
  
Maria:Please, i'm younger than you, and even I know what's happening.  
  
Bart:Uh oh DUCK AND COVER!  
  
Esmerelda:What are you doing to my daddy elly?  
  
Billy:The high note.  
  
Director:The high note?  
  
Elly:YEEESSSS ahh ahhhhh AHHHHH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA  
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
-----END SCENE-----  
Maybe it was a little to dramatic....so what.  
  
Director:@_@ wugh.  
  
Bart:WOW!  
  
Billy:This has been a real learning experience.  
  
Maria:Someone get the janitor.  
  
Director:I think we need to take a break.  
  
Fei:I need something to eat.  
  
Elly:Oooh me too.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Scene 8-Take 2  
  
A few hours later.  
  
Director:Okay, let's try this again, WITHOUT the wild sex please. ACTION.  
  
Fei:*looks through ellys bag, and sees a picture of her and auntie dom*  
You, you live on a farm, with a picket fence.  
  
Elly:yes.  
  
Fei:There's a man there, working with the chickens.  
  
Elly:That's uncle ghrafy.  
  
Fei:Yes, there's also a woman. She wears...a polka dot dress, her face is careworn.  
  
Elly:That's aunt dom. Is she alright.  
  
Fei:Well she's crying. Someone hurt her. Someone just broke her heart.  
  
Elly:(Good thing dominia went on a break.)Me?  
  
Fei:Yes,(You sexy thang' you.) Someone she cared about very much. Someone who took care of her.  
  
Dominia:*Back from her break.* Who did I really care about?  
  
Citan:Elly.  
  
Dominia:_ 


	6. A Bubblehead in a Bubble

Chapter 6  
  
Hhhmmm this is bad.  
  
Maria:What?  
  
At the rate we're going, we'll finish this fic. after....168 CHAPTERS?!?!?!  
  
Maria:Dear god that's horrible.  
  
So....what do we do about it?  
  
Maria:I'll have to consult some people about this.  
  
Ohh man, looks like we'll have to speed this thing up a bit.  
  
Maria:I guess so. TO THE STUDIO!  
  
168 Chapters? Such a thing should not exist in this world.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
A Bubble Head in the Bubble!?!  
  
Director:All right people let's get moving.  
  
Maria:*Busts in, whispers something.*  
  
Director:OH Dear Lord that's not possible. ALL RIGHT everybody. Our plans have changed.  
  
Bart:How could you torture us any further?  
  
Director:It seems as though we aren't going fast enough. The people demand a faster output,   
so we'll be putting in overtime.  
  
All:Aaaaaahhhhhh!!!  
  
Director:Quit your whining and get ready. Props get the tornado set.  
  
Elly:U_U oh man.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Scene 9-Take 1  
  
Director:You ready elly, and action.  
  
*Wind is blowing like crazy. Tornado comes in.*  
  
Citan:It's a twister, It's a twister.  
  
Prop man #1:How high are we supposed to crank this.  
  
Prop man #2:I think we keep it at 10.  
  
*Elly is coming in just as her family is heading into the cellar, but she doesn't know that.*  
  
Elly:Auntie dom, Auntie dom.  
  
*Prop man accidently sets tornado to 11. Dun Dun Duuuuuuun.*  
  
Elly:Auntie Dom.*Debris flies* Ahhh. *knocked out.  
  
*Cue, wavy dream line thingys. House is now flying up in the air.*  
  
Director:Okay miang, get ready.  
  
Miang:But I hate riding a bike, much less a broomstick.  
  
Maria:LAUNCH!  
  
Miang:AAAAAAHHHHHH!  
  
*Elly get's up and sees all sorts of freaky things. Use your imagination....Then...*  
  
Miang:I'm getting a major vertigo here.  
  
*Cue music.*  
  
Elly:Oh, miss miang.  
  
*Miangs costume changes to a withches costume*  
  
Miang:Haa hahahahahahaha.*Flies off*  
  
Prop man #1:WATCH OUT!  
  
Miang:Not agaaaaaaaaaiiiiinnnn.*CRASH*  
  
*House flies like crazy, then it crashes.*  
  
Elly:Oof.  
  
*Elly, walks out of the house.*  
  
Director:Cue the color.  
  
Prop man #2:Let there be COLOR.  
  
Elly:I don't think we're in kansas anymore chu-chu.  
  
*Suddenly a pink bubble starts floating towards elly.*  
  
Director:Uhh why isn't she flying straight.  
  
Bart:Your first mistake was letting seraphita be glinda.  
  
Seraphita:Oooh why aren't you working right. *Clang clang.* C'mon, work mister bubble. *Rumble*  
Wooooaaahhhh--MAD BUBBLE ON THE LOOSE. *POP* Oooff, @_@ That was sure bumpy. Wuuuugh. *Notices  
Elly* OH YEAH! Um are you like a good witch or umm a bad witch.*I'll just call her Sera for space.*  
  
Elly:O_o Uhhh what?  
  
Sera:Oh man, do I have to ask again?  
  
Director:Doh!*Head slap*  
  
Sera:Are yoooou a good witch or a naaaaasty one.  
  
Elly:No i'm not a witch. Witches are old and ugly.  
  
*Giggling is heard.*  
  
Sera:What, they are? I am so out of character then.  
  
Director:*Loudly whispering* No you ARE a witch.  
  
Sera:Ooooh *Looks at her hand.*  
  
Tolone:Luckily I wrote her lines on her hand.  
  
Sera:Oh but I am a witch. I'm Sera the witch of the north.  
  
Elly:Oh, i've never met a semi-good more cutsey type looking witch before.  
  
Sera:Only bad witches are ugly.(Uhh wait a sec)  
  
Elly:Why are you asking anyway.   
  
Sera:Oh well this bad witch was being mean, then a house fell on her. *points at the house*  
That's all that's left of her.  
  
*Under the house is a pair of big legs with red sneakers on them.*  
  
Director:I'm curious maria. Who'd you get to do that?  
  
Maria:Someone who owes me.  
  
Rico:*Under the house* This was not in my contract. Any more of this and i'll go crazy.  
  
Maria:Heh heh heh heh.  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Whooo. Finally another chapter. I'll try making them longer to reduce chapter quantity. Next time  
Emerelda will get to do an entire song and dance number. The catch is she's the only one doing it.  
Plus Miang comes in as her most evil role yet.  
  
Miang:*Sarcasticly* Oh yeah, i'm soooooooooo evil.  
  
Ahem, anyway get ready for the next chapter where the crazyness get's worse. 


	7. We Ran Out of Yellow

Chapter 7  
  
We Ran Out of Yellow  
  
Since we're still mid scene, let's get to it.  
---  
Elly:*Is shocked by the feet under the house* GASP, Oh i'm so sorry I didn't mean to. You never  
see this stuff in Kansas  
  
*Giggling is heard*  
  
Elly:Who keeps doing that anyway.  
  
Sera:The nanokins. The little peple who live here, it's nano land and you're their  
savior.  
  
Director:Is the music ready???  
  
Techie:The tracks are set and ready to go.  
  
Sera:Come out, come out, wherever you are and meet the young lady,  
who fell from a star. She fell from the sky, she fell very far and Kansas, she says,  
is the name of the star.  
  
Director:Okay Emeralda, start sining.  
  
*Emeralda comes out, but using her nano abilities makes different sized copies of herself*  
  
Emeralda:Kansas, she says, is the name of the star.  
She brings you good news. Or haven't you heard?  
When she fell out of Kansas...a miracle occurred!  
  
Elly:It really was no miracle. What happened was just this:  
The wind began to switch - the house to pitch  
and suddenly the hinges started to unhitch.  
Just then the Witch - to satisfy an itch went flying  
on her broomstick, thumbing for a hitch.  
  
Copy1:*With a moustache* And oh, what happened then was rich.  
  
Copies 2-4:The house began to pitch. The kitchen took a slitch.  
It landed on the Wicked Witch in the middle of a ditch,  
which was not a healthy situation for the Wicked Witch...  
who began to twitch and was reduced to just a stitch  
of what was once the Wicked Witch.  
  
Director:Are you set ladies.  
  
Kelvena:I'm set and ready according to scen parameters.  
  
Tolone:Hmph...yeah yeah i'm set.  
  
Maria:THIS IS INSANE! I WASN'T HIRED FOR THIS!  
  
Director:Save the yelling for later and sing pretty.  
  
*The path is cleared and Kelvena, Tolone, and Maria prance out in colorful tutus.*  
  
Girls:*Big SIGH* We represent, the lulliby league, the lulliby league, the lulliby league.  
And in the name of, the lulliby leeeeeeeeague. We wish to welcome you to na-no land.  
  
Director:Okay boys it's your turn.  
  
Hammer:Hey bro this is totally uncool.  
  
Dan:You have my 50 bucks right?  
  
Rico:Can I ask why I AM DOING THIS???  
  
Director:Cause this is just another opportunity to humiliate and make fun of you.  
  
Rico:Crap on a stick.  
  
*The girls leave and the three guys come out in colored overalls with painted dimples.*  
  
Bart:*Snicker* Who's got a camera??  
  
Citan:I just put new film in.  
  
Guys:We represent, the Lollipop guild, the lollipop guild, the lollipop guild.  
And in the name of, the lollipop guiiiiiiiiiiiiild. We wish to welcome you  
to nano land.  
  
*Snap snap*  
  
Bart: HAhahaha I can't stop. This is priceless.  
  
Fei:HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA! I need oxygen fast.  
  
Rico:I kicked your ass before fei. I'll do it again. AAAAAUUUUUGGGGHHHH!  
  
Fei:Uh oh. Bart tell elly I love heeerrrrrrrrrr.*Runs off*  
  
Sera:Let the joyous news be spread. The wicked old witch at last is....not breathing???  
  
Tolone:D'oh!!!  
  
Copies:Ding Dong! The Witch is dead! Which old Witch?   
The Wicked Witch! Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.  
Wake up - sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.  
Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead.  
She's gone where the goblins go,  
Below - below - below. Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out.  
Ding Dong the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.  
Let them know the Wicked Witch is dead!  
  
Emeralda as Mayor:(Can I sink any lower?)As Mayor of the Munchkin City, in the County of the Land  
of Id, I welcome you most regally.  
  
Copy:But we've got to verify it legally, to see;  
  
Emeralda:To see?  
  
Copy:If she,  
  
Emarelda:If she?  
  
Copy:Is morally, ethic'lly,  
  
Copy 1+2:Spiritually, physically, Positively, absolutely,  
Undeniably and reliably Dead!!  
  
Coroner Copy:As Coroner I must aver, I thoroughly examined her. And  
she's not only merely dead, she's really most sincerely dead.  
  
Emarelda:Then this is a day of Independence for all the Munchkins  
and their descendants! If any! Yes, let the joyous news be spread the   
Wicked Old Witch at last IS dead!!!!  
  
Copies:Ding Dong! The Witch is dead! Which old Witch?   
The Wicked Witch! Ding Dong! The Wicked Witch is dead.  
Wake up - sleepy head, rub your eyes, get out of bed.  
Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead.  
She's gone where the goblins go,  
Below - below - below. Yo-ho, let's open up and sing and ring the bells out.  
Ding Dong the merry-oh, sing it high, sing it low.  
Let them know the Wicked Witch is dead!  
We welcome you to nano land Fa lalalalalalalalalalala Falalalalalala  
From now on you'll be history.  
You'll be his-  
You'll be his-  
You'll be history. and----U_U  
  
Director:Hey what's wrong?  
  
Emeralda:Well when we pre-screened this movie, I never completely heard what the next lines were.  
  
Director:You're kidding? Right?  
  
Emeralda:No i'm not. The sound was so jumbled I couldn't get it.  
  
Techie 1:That's what happens when you spring for a $15 dollar T.V VCR set.  
  
Director:Shut up, we are on a budget. I couldn't spring for any extras. Just improv it okay?  
  
Emeralda:*Thinks for a moment*Okie-dokie...*Ahem; music starts* You'll be history, and fei and elly hump   
alll niiiiiiiiiiight.  
and I have to hear  
have to hear   
have to hear  
Cause the walls are thin.  
  
  
Elly:O_OV...............  
  
Everyone except emeralda:O_O *Spit take to end all spit takes.*  
  
Director:Oh dear god no.  
  
Fei:*Blushing*   
  
Bart:*Violent snickering* Gee fei...grph...heh heh...I didn't know you would be traumatizing  
little girls like that.   
  
Fei:Is there a hole I can die in.  
  
Maria:Sorry fei, Grahf locked himself in there a few minutes ago for some reason.  
  
Elly:O_O..............  
  
Citan:This is going to be an issue heh at your next physical fei.  
  
Director:. 


	8. Random Acts OF LEadership

Chapter 8  
  
Random Acts of Leadership  
  
---  
After being drunk for a while the director finally wakes up.  
  
Aide:Excuse me sir.  
  
Director:Ow quit talking so loud.  
  
Aide:Yeah right, the case of monkeys you ordered have dissapeared.  
  
Director:Weren't they supposed to get here till later?  
  
Aide:Apparently they came early.  
  
Director:Well go find them then.  
  
Aide:Yes sir.  
  
Director:Oh bottle of mine. How cruel a mistress you are.  
  
*Meanwhile with miang.*  
  
Miang:Oh fei, I won't forget your wonderful message of love. I will remove that awful elly  
and have you all for my own heh heh heh.  
  
*Back at the set*  
  
Director*After some antacids*:Okay is Citan ready.  
  
Citan:*In a scarecrow getup* I most certainly am.  
  
Director:Good, GET THE CRANE READY!  
  
Techie 2:Yes sir. Getting crane prepped.  
  
Citan:Uhh what exactly does that technician mean?  
  
Director:Well to get you on that pole we're going to use this crane.  
  
Citan:Can't I just get myself up.  
  
Director:NO! I paid for this crane so we're using it.  
  
Citan:I think I need to re-evaluate my opinion of this. *Crane hooks him up.*  
  
Techie 2:He is now directly over the pole.  
  
Director:Okay, lower...lower....lower....low-  
  
Citan:AHHHHHHHH!  
  
Director:HIGHERHIGHERHIGHER! Ouch, I'm so sorry doctor.  
  
Citan:Even I know-erg-that wasn't right.  
  
*1 hour later*  
  
Director:Okay citan the proctologist said to avoid sitting down for a while.  
  
Citan:Like I would want to.  
  
Director:Cool, now let's get moving...ACTION!  
  
*Elly is prancing down the yell-barbershop pole.*  
  
Elly:Follow the barber shop pole, follow the...barbershop-  
  
*Comes to a fork in the road.*  
  
Elly:Well which way do we go now?  
  
Voice:Why not go that way?  
  
*Elly looks and sees a scarecrow pointing down the road.*  
  
Elly:*Looks at chu-chu* What could that be.  
  
Voice:It's better down that way two.  
  
Elly:O_o. Uhhh  
  
Citan:Of course you can go both ways. Although the northwestern path is going to have a bout  
of rain which will lead to patches of mud in the....  
  
Director:Hey don't make me get the crane again.  
  
Citan:. 


End file.
